I don’t get it why would a player say that they are one because they are trying to find the right one for them. When the truth is they are only fooling around, hurting the partners.
There are two types of players: one, I just talked about and another, the ones who admitted that they were too stupid and regrets.
If you were really doing that because you are trying to find the right person to settle down and get serious, you would already have found one. You would know that they did really love you and was damn hurt when you left. You would have really tried. Not played.
The second type of players would admit that they were just fooling around and being stupid. They would know that they’ve hurt their partners. They would really regret. They would not be proud after being one. They would not even wanna say they used to be a player.
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who used to be a player. For all I know I might be another mistaken partner. Even though I was sincere. For all I know there’s an ex partner of his who still loves him so deeply, it kills her to watch.
But that’s life. And please players out there, be reminded that being a player isn’t something to be proud of. It’s disgusting, stupid and ridiculous. No one would want a player. Who the hell would want to risk it with a player, unless you are obviously really sorry and ashamed of yourself. I know a lot of players. Some of them are my own friends. I’m sure everyone’s wise enough to know who’s really sincere and what not. Stop fooling others around like you run the freaking world. Players aren’t great. Period.
This post might not be the most sensible thing but all I’m doing is talking to myself because I think a lot. Anyone who’s disagreeing whatsoever, I don’t really give a damn. It’s just something that came into my head when I’m alone or quiet. I like to think a lot. And these thoughts may be sensible or not, depending on your mentality. And these thoughts may just be defeated by another thought, that I would have a new mentality. I am well known for changing my mind a lot so if you can’t stand me, then do not. Me ranting my thoughts aren’t for discussing matters. I do not wish to know your opinions. Mean or not, that’s me.
Recently, I’ve been missing decorating my blog. Been missing blogging at blogger. Been missing those times I used to have back then in Sec 1. Where I raged, making a fool out of myself and being everything and anything. Talking about anything under the sun, above the atmosphere and into the space. Having to turn in late, chatting with friends in the MSN - which is, fyi, officially a member of the forgotten alongside with Friendster and Myspace.
Also, I’ve noticed that throughout these childish years - so carefree - everyone’s changing. From lame to cool. From cool to cooler. Some, from lame to lamer. I’ve met many kinds of people. The bitches, the cool kids, the… can’t-even-come-out-with-something-2-describe-them kids. I’ve made new friends. I’ve made enemies. I’ve made lovers. But all good things will eventually come to an end.
Everybody I’ve met are the good things that happened to me. Even my enemies. Without you guys, I wouldn’t be able to know what are better than bad. You guys taught me a lot. You guys made me think. Thank you very much.
All I’m saying is be thankful. Teach others a little bit each day. And you will always get something in return. If you know what I mean. So with that, I shall let the night take over and let my stomach process so I wouldn’t fall sick. Ha-ha. (inside joke) okay love you.
I fear…
… that the shadows might give out whatever that is going on inside to the outside. That the shadows might be allied to the outside. That the shadows are as evil as their colour, black. As dark as the colour, black. As gothic as the colour, black.
I fear that the evil eyes might see and know. Might laugh and feel the pleasure. Might tell and spread.
These made me weak and mad. Insane even. How can it be acceptable for someone to live in fear. To not be able to do whatever he or she likes. To be paranoid. It’s really sad, depressing even to see one shook in fear, cried so much and going insane. But what about the person themselves? Will they be able to live normally? Will they be happy? Will they not be traumatised?
I am not able to live normally. I am not able to be as happy as I used to be, if not unhappy. I am not able to avoid myself from being traumatised. I do not think it is acceptable for someone, even the most sinful being: me, to live in fear. To stay alert. To keep my eyes and ears open. It is tiring. It is driving me insane. It is depressing. It left a scar. Scars leave marks. And my marks are going to live with me forever.
Days passed, and I’m counting down to the day(s) my life would change back to normal. Where I do not have to fear. Where I will be able to reside above the intimidating darkness and below the beautiful darkness. Because darkness itself is two. I will one day be able to live again.
I’m supposed to be sleeping already but somehow somewhere somethinf is wrong and I’m still wide awake. Actually, I’m sleepy. Hahaha but ok I’ve said it already. I can’t sleep. All the boys in the house are still awake. At least I’m not doe low. Ah, I guess maggie now would be nice. Sho naise. That’s what ah boy said lol. So anyway, it wasn’t a triple date. Since Kak Ryaisha couldn’t make it. Ah ah beng star. Lol. Ok thanks for the day Kak Long and ah boy. <333
Meeting Kak Long and Kak Ryaisha technically later. It’s going to be a triple date and I’m lucky to ah boy who willingly - i hope - took up this oppurtunity. Idk what oppurtunity la. Zz. So anyway, it’s really nice of him. Besides, he never had Thosai before so I’m being really kind here too okay.
Shoutout to Rachel Chia who just joined twitter. Welcome! Hehe. And to Syafiq, my shifu. Hahaha I’m a nigga in training. Soon I’ll be one bad ass. Thank you very much people now let me sleep.
Wazzup my people. Hahah actually nobody’s reading this. K i miss my LG Optimus phone :((((
Halu there. Been sometimes since I wrote a poem or a story. Shall start on it soon. Now my knees are distractions. So what’s new is that… someone just joined us. Yeah, us as in the cool kidzzz. It’s annoying. I mean, can’t you just stay where you are? You are already commercializing yourself, so please. I don’t want these cool stuff to be taken over by people like you as bad as I don’t want minah and mat reps to take over Facebook. Now why can’t I just tell you straight in the face……
Finally I can see it crystal clear. Omg. How could I be so blind? Tsk. No. I’m not blaming anyone. Neither am I going to blame myself. This bound to happen. I’m glad God gave me the chance to go through this. So I know what I should do to prevent. :) Thank you all. I feel like I’m in some kind of Oscar Award. Hahaha. Bye.
